Last Thursday I woke to a spinning room. Even lying down and closing my eyes, I felt like I was in motion on an amusement park ride. This feeling only got worse when I sat up. Reaching back to tie up my hair made me want to fall over, and I hadn’t even tried to stand yet. All the spinning and whirling made me super nauseous. I called my doctor’s office and was advised to head to the hospital. My mom stayed with me at the ER until Brian arrived. I had six hours of continuous vertigo, spent an afternoon at the hospital and have been at home recovering since. There’s not much that can be done for vertigo, except lie down and since I’m pregnant, I was only offered Gravol, which I declined. (It would’ve knocked me out for a week.)
I lay there in the hospital bed listening to the melodious sounds of my roommate snoring. It really amazed me how quickly she was able to fall asleep. She’d finish her sentence with a nurse and would be snoring again. Brian and I chuckled with each other listening to the buzz of conversations in the ER. I barely had enough energy to talk, but I thanked him for being there with me and apologized for always being sick.
Over the course of our twelve year relationship, I’ve been “sick” for the majority of that time. One year after we started dating, I was rear ended for the first time and so began the doctors appointments and rehab. Working with children, I’ve had my share of the colds and flus, even with my annual flu shot. Sure my back has left me in quite painful states, nearly immobile, but never have I been completely wiped out to the point where I haven’t been able to talk, until this pregnancy. My husband has continuously honoured his wedding vows. Through exhaustion and frustration, he has been there for me in sickness and in health.
We say our wedding vows once to our partner, and we spend a lifetime putting them into practice. It’s easy to make a promise, it’s hard to keep it, especially if it’s supposed to be for a lifetime! Even more so when your partner has had chronic back pain for eleven years and has been down both physically and mentally this past year.
It’s not easy for me to rest. I am a person who is usually on the go and thrives on having different projects to achieve. When my doctors suggested I take time off work, I pushed myself to continue going. When my husband has told me to slow down and rest, I’ve gotten mad at him for suggesting such craziness. It challenges my identity, to be in a season of rest, to accept help and to really do nothing but concentrate on my health.
In this season of rest, my husband has proven to honour his wedding vows daily. He puts his vows into practice, many days without complaining, though I can see the wear on his face. To have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
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