Tiny Bud

Tiny bud Who never got to bloom Firmly planted Uprooted too soon Like the breeze Against my cheek Gone before I could reach Like a sprinkle of rain Fall on me so I can feel Take me to the skies Like the clouds Swiftly changing My grief floats and hovers Planted in a season beyond time Blossoming petals of light The bouquet I delivered too soon * With Love and Light, Stefanie  

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Day 3: Postpartum Depression

postpartum depression

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month! This week leading up to October 15th, I am partnering with fellow loss mama, and writer, Liz Mannegren, to help create discussion and raise awareness about this vitally important topic. This Motherhood Story Day 3 Journal Prompt: Take the time to be honest with yourself today. Journal about what pregnancy loss was really like emotionally. What emotions were present during the loss of your child? What physical symptoms did you notice due to your mood? Use as many descriptive words as you can to share your experience. I stood in my doctor’s office...

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Day 1: A Letter to Your Angel Baby

miscarriage letter

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month! This week leading up to October 15th, I am partnering with fellow loss mama and writer, Liz Mannegren, to help create discussion and raise awareness about this vitally important topic.  This Motherhood Story Day 1 Journal Prompt: What would you like to say to your baby? This can be one sentence, several pages, or even a drawing. Take your time. This is your love letter to your baby. Whether you type the letter, handwrite it and seal it in an envelope, do what feels right for you. My Sweet Heavenly Babies, Writing words to...

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I Wish It Was Just an April Fools’ Joke

april fools

Dear Friend, I'm feeling anxious today. Actually I've been feeling anxious for this past week. I've been trying to figure out why because there has been no major event, no emotional trigger, but life has just continued with the everyday events as weeks before. Then I lift my eyes to the calendar. I see the days of March coming to an end. March 31 was the day I prayed the hardest tear-filled prayers I have ever lifted to heaven. I cried out to the Lord, "No, no, no. Please don't let this happen again." Please do not let me miscarry,...

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Like I’m Gonna Lose You

like i'm gonna lose you

Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor and John Legend has been on repeat at our house, and in the car. Not only is our four-year-old singing this song morning, noon, and night, she has also requested the Spanish version and alternates between languages. While she is actually learning Spanish from this song, she also has her own version of Spanish. (She also has her own version of Cantonese.) The first time I heard this song was while I was pregnant and it brought me to tears. The lyrics are so powerful and this love song really rang true for where...

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My Little Princess Party Giveaway

my little princess events

The most recent birthday we had in our family included singing, dancing, story time, prizes, magical wishes and a special gift for our birthday girl. Guess how much time it took me to organize it? Five minutes thanks to My Little Princess Events! Like many four year old girls, our little one grew to love princesses, fairy tales and pretend play this past year. I can't tell you how many times I've been called "Anna" these past few months and told I'm the sister, while my husband plays the role of King or Prince. Our daughter often pretends to be...

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A Silent Christmas

silent christmas

It's common this time of year to over schedule ourselves between work events, parties with friends, and family gatherings. I absolutely love Christmas, learning about different traditions, starting new traditions as a family, the yummy food, all while celebrating our Saviour's birth. Before opening her advent gift each day, I read the story of Jesus' birth to my daughter. Since she's heard the story for one week now, I've started to ask her questions: Me: Where was Jesus born? 3yo: In a manger with the animals. (She got me there, I was going for Bethleham.) Me: What gifts did the wise...

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Happy Birthday, My Dear Baby in Heaven

I think that somehow with time it will get easier, this void, this pain in my chest, this absence on earth. Somehow I fool myself into believing that I will be OK, that these dates on the calendar will be manageable and that I will be functional. However, when I find myself alone and safe to feel what it is I need to feel, there is no fooling myself. It hurts, it aches, it wrenches. I miss the baby I will never hold, especially on this day, her birthday. I didn't have much capacity to write, but the following lines came...

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5 Ways to Navigate Through the Loss of Miscarriage

I post to Facebook nearly everyday and would love to connect with you there.

Thirteen months ago, I experienced my first miscarriage and it has been a whirlwind of a journey since then. There was nothing that could've prepared me for the shock and heartache I lived through, that I continue to live through. Next month will mark the due date of my second miscarriage. I cannot even look at a calendar in the same way. It is now filled with dates that are forever imprinted on my heart, dates we found out we were expecting, dates of our losses and due dates, which I now call my babies birthdays. The first two weeks after our...

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