Thank You For Year Two

ecemom

Somehow another year has gone by and this space continues to grow. When I started blogging, the intent of this space was to share the fun things that my oldest daughter and I do at home. When life took many unexpected turns, it was really hard to keep writing about those fun activities because I didn't have the energy or the effort to keep it up. The stories that I ended up publishing were a lot more raw and close to my heart. Thank you for being here to read our stories and allowing me to share my heart with you....

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I Wish It Was Just an April Fools’ Joke

april fools

Dear Friend, I'm feeling anxious today. Actually I've been feeling anxious for this past week. I've been trying to figure out why because there has been no major event, no emotional trigger, but life has just continued with the everyday events as weeks before. Then I lift my eyes to the calendar. I see the days of March coming to an end. March 31 was the day I prayed the hardest tear-filled prayers I have ever lifted to heaven. I cried out to the Lord, "No, no, no. Please don't let this happen again." Please do not let me miscarry,...

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Like I’m Gonna Lose You

like i'm gonna lose you

Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor and John Legend has been on repeat at our house, and in the car. Not only is our four-year-old singing this song morning, noon, and night, she has also requested the Spanish version and alternates between languages. While she is actually learning Spanish from this song, she also has her own version of Spanish. (She also has her own version of Cantonese.) The first time I heard this song was while I was pregnant and it brought me to tears. The lyrics are so powerful and this love song really rang true for where...

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Sleep Deprived Conversations

sleep deprived parenting

If you've ever lived with a newborn, or cared for one around the clock, you would understand how needy he or she can be. You can imagine how this month has been at our house with a one month old, a four-year-old and a dog who is rather attention deprived. We're slowly learning our baby's cues. The most difficult thing so far is that she doesn't like being put down. She'll sleep happily when held, but when I put her down, her eyes pop open and I receive a death glare. As we transition, we have had some interesting conversations...

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My Little Princess Party Giveaway

my little princess events

The most recent birthday we had in our family included singing, dancing, story time, prizes, magical wishes and a special gift for our birthday girl. Guess how much time it took me to organize it? Five minutes thanks to My Little Princess Events! Like many four year old girls, our little one grew to love princesses, fairy tales and pretend play this past year. I can't tell you how many times I've been called "Anna" these past few months and told I'm the sister, while my husband plays the role of King or Prince. Our daughter often pretends to be...

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A Silent Christmas

silent christmas

It's common this time of year to over schedule ourselves between work events, parties with friends, and family gatherings. I absolutely love Christmas, learning about different traditions, starting new traditions as a family, the yummy food, all while celebrating our Saviour's birth. Before opening her advent gift each day, I read the story of Jesus' birth to my daughter. Since she's heard the story for one week now, I've started to ask her questions: Me: Where was Jesus born? 3yo: In a manger with the animals. (She got me there, I was going for Bethleham.) Me: What gifts did the wise...

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Signed, Sealed, Delivered

I mentioned a few months ago that I was offered the opportunity to publish my memoir. Well, after much prayer and research, I'm going for it. The publishing agreement has been signed, sealed and delivered. Usually, the publishing timeline is about three to four months, but I've asked to take this project really slow. It is a unique emotional space to be in, being pregnant and working on the story of our miscarriages. It's holding the grief and memory of my children in heaven while trying to trust that my body will carry this baby to term and have a safe...

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Happy Birthday, My Dear Baby in Heaven

I think that somehow with time it will get easier, this void, this pain in my chest, this absence on earth. Somehow I fool myself into believing that I will be OK, that these dates on the calendar will be manageable and that I will be functional. However, when I find myself alone and safe to feel what it is I need to feel, there is no fooling myself. It hurts, it aches, it wrenches. I miss the baby I will never hold, especially on this day, her birthday. I didn't have much capacity to write, but the following lines came...

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Pumpkin Picking and Pumpkin Activities

I've made it to week 25 in this pregnancy journey and finally back up to my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost eight pounds, and it took until now to gain it back. My appetite is nearly back to normal, but I still have many aversions. Progress is slow, but I'm able to make it out of the house about twice per week during the day for about an hour. My time out of the house is usually reserved for my appointments and if I'm feeling well enough, I make it to pick Maliya up from preschool. The highlight of my week was...

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The Art of Making Tang Yuan

tang yuan

One thing I love about fall is all the comfort food, the stews, slow cooked soups and Chinese soups. When my grandma makes traditional Chinese food, I can easily have two to three helpings and wish I had room in my stomach for more. One of the traditional foods I grew up eating was tang yuan or tong yoon (Cantonese pronunciation). It's simple to make and I was often at the side of my Poh Poh (Maternal Grandma) rolling the dough into balls. This week, my daughter and her Poh Poh continued a family tradition and made tang yuan together for...

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